A teacher’s tough decision to leave the classroom in News Leader. Profound? No. Call to action? Please.
Felicite Moorman
The Simple Form (that could save your child)
I’ve wanted to share this for some time, pre-blog.
Today, Seth Godin sent out this post “The Simple Form that could save your life.” And I knew it was time to advocate for our kids.
It is time to take charge of our lives and loves. It is time to stop waiting to be told how to provide the information necessary for those who (in part) hold our fates in their hands. Do you really think They know better than You how to get what They need from you? They do not.
Do not go empty-handed to your doctor. 
Do not let your children go empty-handed into their classrooms. Send them with this (also below). Someday, maybe school systems will build a database so we don’t recreate The Form every year, but for now, let your teachers know you care that they know your child from day one.
I’ve gone a step beyond preparing my children’s teachers for them with The Form, and prepared my children for their teachers. My children go to their first day of school knowing their teachers every public preference (Google is our friend). It helps my children relate back to those who hold their fate and understand those who cannot comprehend them as expected.
“You like OSU? Awesome, we can relate.”
“You like Winnie-the-Pooh? Well, I appreciate your attempt to relate to young children, I guess. When you want to discuss the differences between Tesla and Edison, let’s talk.”
That’s how my kids go to school.
That’s how I go to the doctor.
Our fate is in OUR hands. Linchpin it up!
STUDENT PROFILE FOR [INSERT NAME HERE][INSERT YEAR/GRADE]
PERSONALITY
[PERSONALITY TEST/HOROSCOPE/ANYTHING] – [INSERT RESULTS]
Synopsis: [3+ CHARACTERISTIC TRAITS OF YOUR CHILD]
Challenges: [BE AWARE OF BULLYING, INEPTITUDES, HARDSHIPS. BE REALISTIC, CONVERSE.]
READING
[LIST MEANINGFUL BOOKS READ OVER THE SUMMER OR WINTER BREAK, OR JUST MEANINGFUL BOOKS PERIOD.]
FAMILY/SIBLINGS
[DEFINE PARENT RELATIONSHIP]
[DEFINE SIBLING SITUATION, INCL SIBLING PLACEMENT/GENDERS (oldest, middle, youngest, genders,etc)]
ACCOMPLISHMENTS/SUCCESSES
[Citizenship awards, elected positions, outstanding markers]
OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES
[Any important extracurricular commitments]
BEST TEACHER EXPERIENCE TO DATE
[Name a successful teaching experience, or lack thereof]
MEDICAL/DIET/OTHER
[Anything effecting education as described above, glasses, meds, diet, etc.]
PARENT CONTACT: [Names, Emails, Phones]
STUDENT PROFILE FOR [INSERT NAME HERE][INSERT YEAR/GRADE]
PERSONALITY
[PERSONALITY TEST/HOROSCOPE/ANYTHING] – [INSERT RESULTS]
Synopsis: [3+ CHARACTERISTIC TRAITS OF YOUR CHILD]
Challenges: [BE AWARE OF BULLYING, INEPTITUDES, HARDSHIPS. BE REALISTIC, CONVERSE.]
READING
[LIST MEANINGFUL BOOKS READ OVER THE SUMMER OR WINTER BREAK, OR JUST MEANINGFUL BOOKS PERIOD.]
FAMILY/SIBLINGS
[DEFINE PARENT RELATIONSHIP]
[DEFINE SIBLING SITUATION, INCL SIBLING PLACEMENT/GENDERS (oldest, middle, youngest, genders,etc)]
ACCOMPLISHMENTS/SUCCESSES
[Citizenship awards, elected positions, outstanding markers]
OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES
[Any important extracurricular commitments]
BEST TEACHER EXPERIENCE TO DATE
[Name a successful teaching experience, or lack thereof]
MEDICAL/DIET/OTHER
[Anything effecting education as described above, glasses, meds, diet, etc.]
PARENT CONTACT: [Names, Emails, Phones]
The American Dream can no longer be to have more than our parents. 
It must be to be more.
Perhaps nothing highlights the changes we are facing, and going to continue to face as a society, more than the current Recession. People who had done just what was expected of them for a lifetime, lost all material possessions, myself and my family included.
My hope is that it leads to an American Renaissance, our own cultural revolution, our shift from Industrial Modern, to Artistic Social.
It led me here: a place to question everything! A place to encourage my children to question everything! Do my children need public education? Does it serve them? Do my children need college as it is offered today? Do my children need to learn Chinese? Spanish? French? Do they need to learn to code? Do they need Karate? Soccer? Art?
What can I give them, other than the McMansion, and maybe instead of the McMansion, so that they can more easily determine their path to happiness, adventure, love, service, and truth? How does my life work to serve them better? And equally important as a parent striving to be mentally and physically healthy and fulfilled for myself and my children, what does my re-invented dream look like?
What can we do to adjust predominant cultural expectations and enable our children to be more?
Soleil and her super awesome friend auditioned and were accepted for their school talent show.
In 6th Grade every important thing that occurs is the most important thing that could occur, and it’s usually the first time said important thing has occurred. A favorite law professor put it like this, “You may have 100 cases, but for your client, this may be the only case they ever have, and it is all important for that reason.” As adults we’ve had 100 experiences of extreme elation or disappointment, while my 6th Grader has this most important one.
Regardless of the result of their audition, two things I could offer them will help them become Linchpins, or standouts, and those are perspective and empathy.
It’s far easier and more enjoyable to deal with this scenario, elation, than disappointment. A hearty congratulations and hug, with a reminder to be empathetic to those not having the same experience are easy enough to give. It’s the disappointment that is so easy to shrug off as an adult dealing with a young person.
To really empathize with my children, I go back to that feeling at THAT time in my life. I go back to the moment I found out I did not make show choir. I tell them I understand their pain with my stories, my reactions, my sour grapes, my pain, so that they know I feel it with them. That solidarity enables them to borrow my perspective until they’ve built more of their own resiliency.
It also leads me to wonder, what will I do when they’ve an experience to which I’m unable to relate so naturally?
From Soleil!
Too much here to quote! Thanks, Soleil! What will be your Space Jam?
Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson
Thank you, to the teachers who make the difference in our lives.
Poem starts at 50 seconds.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski
A gentle reminder to my lovely Linchpins everywhere:
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.
This post is in response to something I see every day in online parenting posts, paraphrased below:
“Negotiating with children is like negotiating with terrorists. It doesn’t work. You tell children what to do, not negotiate with them.”
That’s awesome if you’re raising gas station attendants. I think they still have those in New Jersey. But be aware, those jobs are going the way of the typewriter repair man. This is the gist of Raising Linchpins, right here. We must prepare our children for more than that for which we were prepared, where finding the “right career/job” meant lifelong stability and security. Those jobs are going, going, gone. And being a middle manager wasn’t that great anyway.
I negotiate with my children all day, every day. I’m a lawyer, so I like to think they are challenged to think harder, bigger, and faster, and in a safe environment. And when they get out into the world (as Soleil already has), and someone challenges their world view, or their business idea, or their method of programming, or their art, they will be ready, because I did not tell them what to do. I did not negate back talk, but I do frame it differently than my parents. My children may “advocate their position.” They must request the opportunity to do so in a manner they’ve learned.
It looks like this, and yes this is real, from last night:
Me: Bed! Bed! Bed!
Finn: I need to advocate my position.
Me: Does it include staying up later?
Finn: It does.
Me: Go.
Finn: I’d like to be half way through my book for my book report when I put it down tonight. I’ll feel good about that. I have ten more pages to half way and I think that will take ten minutes.
Me: Make it happen, Captain.
And this is the real world application, also real, from Kindergarten:
Teacher (frustrated): Girl Student in Kindergarten Class, pick up those Legos right now!
Finn: May I advocate for her, please?
Teacher (yes, floored): Yes?
Finn: She wasn’t the one to pour them out. It was another student. May I help her pick them up?
Teacher: Yes.
Gas station attendant? Typewriter salesman? Or Linchpin?
I do not know how this child, who happens to be mine, engages on a college level at age eleven.
I was so concerned that our idea was a disservice to her somehow and I have been criticized for exposing her to a plethora of things, from mere challenges to predators.
I went to class with her tonight. Not at her request, for she is comfortable and happy and her professor is cognizant of her tender age without being biased towards her, but because I needed to see for myself.
She is producing art that is on par with her peers in the classroom. She is engaging with any and all who are willing, classmates and professor alike.
I did breathe a sigh of relief tonight. And was simultaneously appreciative and astounded beyond what I thought possible.